It has been a LONG time since I was last involved in the dating scene as my marriage of twenty years just imploded. Even though it is the reaction I expected, it still stung a bit, you know? OK, So I know I'm different, but now I'm really different after I woke up with an illieostomy.I recently began talking to a young man online who asked for my phone number. I find I'm even more of a sub unit as the others on this site.It will be very lonely, but at least no one will worry about me when I fly into a fit of rage about my predicament, which happens alot now. anyhow, in the interest of fair play consider this. Okay, I'm going to put myself out there with this one. I know I'm married, but sex with my wife and I has gone the way of the dinosaur.having had both radiation and surgery to my lower "male areas" i noticed that i can no longer ejaculate. It very rarely happens, I mean I can count on one hand how many times in a year..... Every time I try to talk about it, I get the "nothing's wrong" answer, yet nothing changes. I was wondering has anyone found a way of keeping that darn bag out of the way when they are having on of thier most intimate moments? From things I have read on this site the answer is no. The panties, additionally, hold the bag against the body and reduce the possibility of detachment.I've used techniques such as holding it under a t-shirt ect... People say its either to hard to tell people about the bag or they run for the hills once they find out. In the case of bag detachment, it stays in place, as the pocket prevents it from slipping along the body and dropping out of clothing to the ground.
That said..I had my urostomy a couple months ago (and it's taken about this long to be able to assess the damage), to save my life the surgeon also removed my uterus and, because of where in the bladder the tumor was, a substantial part of my vagina. I haven't dated since my surgery a year and a half ago.
I understand her feelings but im just a bit disappointed and sexually frustrated.
I love my wife more than anything and i would never cheat under any circumstance. Let's start by saying that I don't have, never had, and never will have a body part that is worth my life.
No wonder people have such misinfomed and disrespectful attitudes towards people with ostomies, and worsened by ostomates who use the term, as well.
I find the use of the word "bag" to describe an ostomy pouch, demeaning and disrespectful.
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I am dating and find it very difficult and stressful to try to tell someone I want to be intimate with, that I have an ostomy. I would also like to know how can I hide or keep my bag from getting in the way during intimacy.