Online dating hell

Patel was killed while her five-year-old son slept in the next room after the mother had invited the “lying and manipulative” man over on the night of October 7 2015 after meeting through the online dating agency, Oasis.Before their meeting, Donnelly had bombarded the mother, who the Old Bailey heard was “desperate for a new relationship”, with sexually explicit messages before telling her: “I will treat you like a princess.” The pair drank alcohol on the night of the attack with them undressing before Donnelly, who has a history of violence when drunk or on drugs, killed his date by beating her ferociously about the head and strangling her.

I'm a long term lurker, first time poster, hoping for some insight and wondering how on earth to get my head around this...

I wonder if this is how the ghosting process begins and I consider just deleting our conversation because every time I open Whats App, I see those blue ticks and I feel vulnerable and rejected all over again. And this is just the start of the minefield that I have come to learn modern dating is.

I wonder who else he’s talking to, I tell myself it doesn’t bother me if there’s an entire inbox from Hinge girls and they’re just more interesting than I am. I turn my phone on silent, put it face down on my bedside table and close my eyes. Modern dating was always just this concept which my single friends would speak about over a few glasses of Pinot and I would think to myself how lucky I was to be in a relationship.

I think about how it would feel to have his body against mine. And so I scroll back through our three months of conversation, trying to work out when it changed and why. Maybe all the things he said were a result of too much wine and excitement that maybe I would let him take me back to his flat and fuck me so he could move on to the next girl. Maybe I was silly for thinking it was more than that.

I wonder if I need to change my approach to sex now that I’m in this new world of dating.

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He said: “The evidence shows the defendant to have met and murdered Usha Patel, and assaulted Rosie Ferrigno, at a time when he was driven by compulsions to drink, take cocaine, and have sex.

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