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It can mean missing out on parties, it can mean being forced to cope with life’s struggles and challenges stone cold sober, and it can also mean being alone.
quotes a 26-year old former heroin addict as saying that “getting sober is pretty lonely.”The apparent cure for the loneliness is often sought in likeminded people.
When it comes to relationships, the realities and rules of abstinence after addiction become all the starker.
Whether as a client or a companion, a guide to sober dating is very important in understanding how matters of the heart change.
For all the arguing and threats of breaking up, there was an edge, a thrill of being in that kind of arrangement.
That feeling can be a drug in and of itself, one that is not found in sober life (and especially not in sober relationships).
The idea of fellow program members combining their sensitivities andweaknesses is fraught with danger. For anyone going through treatment, relapse is always a possibility.
Being involved with someone for whom that possibility also exists greatly increases the chance of the two people falling back into the same habits – only this time, together.
The 33-year-old man who studiously stayed away from dating for the first six months re-entered the relationship scene as a fully committed and engaged member of his treatment program.
The sex coach told that in order to start a romantic or sexual relationship, those in recovery have to spend a lot of guided time getting to know themselves, especially who they are when they don’t have a drink in their hand and when the object of their affection is not the kind of person they would have been interested in during their drinking days.
Such realizations and insights don’t come overnight, and they don’t come in a matter of weeks (or even months).
Additionally, “normal” sober dating can seem boring by comparison.
A person in recovery can still well remember the tension and drama of a relationship affected by substance abuse.