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The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says."Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.And if you're not willing to make the investment, go to a cam-girl site and pay to play instead.Because I've been an observer but not sexually active online for the past few years, I called up Kirk (not his real name), an administrator in an adults-only webcam community.If you do fall ass over teakettle for someone you meet online, Kirk suggests confining the "honey baby sugar darling" talk to private sessions.It kills the mood if you toss too many endearments around in public, and mood is very important in adult chat.You're banned for 24 hours, but anyone willing to respect the community standards is welcome to try again."I got bounced out of a room my first day because I didn't know what 'directing' was," Kirk says, laughing."If you ask somebody to do something on their cam, boom, you're out.

Getting booted is not the end of your cybersex chances.

Some rooms warn you first."Not everyone uses a webcam during chat, while others – especially couples – connect their home video cameras to their computers and provide the highest quality video."It's really nice when the couples are on cam together," says Kirk.

"When they start playing, when you see actual sex, that's when it's the best.

We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.

Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" – telling other people what to do on their cameras – or harassing other members, particularly the women. " or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.

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