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This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.
I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.
Ultimately, every widow is different and the only person whose opinion matters is her own.
Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.