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No one is suggesting Black women avoid black men altogether. We’ve been trying to “work through our issues” for over a century.Why can’t it be Black men and all men, instead of black men or no one at all? I’m not willing to keep sacrificing my sisters for the sake of the cause.Christelyn: I have tremendous respect for Shonda Rhimes. Neither of those characters are the caricature of a Black woman.

Candice: Why do you think there are so many Black women who don’t consider dating outside their race? Our country’s shameful history of slavery is often used as a club to beat Black women into submission about dating interracially, particularly when it comes to white men. I would say that if you’re the type of person who is overly concerned with what other people think about your life, then interracial dating is not for you.Unlike other dating experts, hers is a success story. Here’s what she had to say: Candice: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you’ve become an advocate for interracial couples?Christelyn: As with most advocacy, my motivation comes from having my own experiences.I’ve often been called by my critics, “The Chief Bed Wench,” because I’m seen at the forefront of this issue. But many Black women are sensitive to that kind of insult and outright disapproval. We want the people in our lives to approve of the men we bring home. It comes down to what makes you happy and what makes your heart feel like it’s found its home.It kind of throws a damper on the inclination to explore interracial dating if you know your parents said they would disown you if you ever brought home a white boy. I’m seeing more and more Black women finding their bliss with the men who love and accept them, regardless of race. If you’re lonely and sad, but your entire peer group (including family) approves of the idea of never dating a non-Black man even if he was utterly kick-ass amazing, can you really say those people in your life want the best for you?

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It’s time to have an honest, open discussion about interracial relationships.

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