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But café girl goes out of town for two weeks on Friday.

Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception?

While cheating does indeed exist and the people who cheat may declare themselves non- monogamous, it is not a relationship style in and of itself, but instead a clear breach of monogamy and/or non-monogamy depending on what style is being practiced by the parties involved and what agreements have been put in place.In other words, when my partner is out on a date and I am at home with the cat, rather than stomping around in a jealous rage or torturing myself with what-if-he-leaves-me-for-her thoughts, I would aim to acknowledge my jealous pang as a normal feeling, but remind myself that my partner loves me, that they aren’t leaving, and to be happy that they’re enjoying themselves tonight and to enjoy my alone time with the cat. In comparison with monogamy, in fact, it forces a kind of work on trust that monogamous relationships bypass via the terms of monogamy.Many take the trust experienced in monogamous relationships to be the epitome of the thing, but from another perspective, the “trust” experienced in monogamy isn’t trust exactly, but rather dutifully carrying out the terms of a treaty.If you’re thinking about being non-monogamous, or you already are, you may worry that your dating pool has shrunken significantly as you can now only date other non-monogamous folks. Perhaps a non-monogamous partner will attempt monogamy, or something monogamish, with wiggle room for the occasional flirt, swingers party, perhaps with a verbal openness but with a look but don’t touch clause. Conventional relationship ideals may claim this is ludicrous, but think of the structure of a family. Does the arrival of baby number two mean that suddenly baby number one is getting tossed aside?While that does make logical sense, love knows not of logic, and as fate would have it monogamous and non-monogamous people can and frequently do find themselves involved, in love, and in relationships. Similarly, perhaps an ordinarily monogamous partner will test and stretch their limits, agreeing to a mostly monogamous relationship with a swingers party here or a threesome there on occasion. Imagine a mother saying to her five year old, “I’m sorry, but I can only be mother to one child at a time.

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